I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Two words: blizzard sex
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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