p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
