weddingsv make me drug and hornr
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
