NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
