Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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