i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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