Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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