WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
