Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
