I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He shit in the fireplace
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize