He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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