K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
