Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
