Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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