I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
