I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
