I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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