woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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