I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
