You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
