Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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