it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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