at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
