Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Bring me that man meat
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
