Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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