im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
