it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
