so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
