I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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