walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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