Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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