Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
