Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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