according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
