plz talk dirty to me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize