I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Randomize
