i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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