Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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