remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
