i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize