Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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