Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
