His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
