you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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