Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
