Umm I'm too high to move.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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