Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize