Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize