There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂