I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter