So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do vagina's smell?
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she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she told me i tasted like america
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?