I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
did you just send me my own nude
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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