I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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