all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
