Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
