You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
