Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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