the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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