...so i touched it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.