I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
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Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?