"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...