dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.