a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize