Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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